Friend or Fiend?

16 Jan

I like someone. I mean I really like him soo much that I intend not to tell anyone in our class about it. Until one time I told my groupmate that I like him then my closest friend in our room then my groupmates then my one of our classmates again. So only a few of our class knew about it.

The reason why I didn’t want to tell anyone/only a few know about it was because I didn’t want people to tease us. It would just make me feel anxious and awkward around him. I mean we’re not even close and we barely talk. And also the primary reason was my friend(one my closest friends) and him were an item. And I didn’t want to ruin what they had because of my stupid feelings for him. You know, friendship is more important than boys. I never told my friend about it. So time passed. They weren’t an item anymore. He liked one of my classmates though. Almost one year had passed and then I confessed to her that I liked him. I mean I like him because I still like him up to now. I told her the reason why I only told her that day. She said that’s okay with her because she didn’t even care about him and she didn’t like anymore.

Then, it’s our Christmas Party and one of our classmates teases us and the whole sections knows about what I have for him. And guess what, they even made a fan club for us. So this friend of mine, who “used to like him” told me that she’s our number one fan. Whenever we talk, he’s always our favorite subject. I tell her every single detail of what I feel for him. Though it’s only a crush and nothing deeper than that.

Until, I read her blog. I read every single word of it and I try to comprehend it because I can not fully understand why she wrote that blog. She knows that I know her blog site and I’m going to read it sooner or later. It says there that he still likes him. That until now, she regrets the time that had passed when they still had their “time”. She also wrote that she’s going to regret it forever. Not necessarily forever.

When I read that, I feel stupid. Stupid for telling her about him. Stupid for not being sensitive enough of her feelings. But how will I know it? She seems to be so happy listening to my endless stories about him. She even asks questions. And let me tell you this, everyday, she always tell me that SHE DOESN’T LIKE HIM ANYMORE. That past is past.

I want to talk to her about this but I’m afraid this will affect our friendship.

Should I tell her her or let things settle as time goes by?

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2 Responses to “Friend or Fiend?”

  1. renxkyoko January 22, 2011 at 1:55 pm #

    That is definitely an oh my gosh moment. And in a way, I feel her pain. And your pain too now that you know she still likes him. But tell you what, she is a good friend !!!!!!!!!!!!

    • annerifficweak January 23, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

      yes. i want to talk to her but i think it will just make it worse. and yes, she’s really a good friend.

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