If This Isn’t Love, Then What Is It?

I had a guy friend. We always teased each other. We always hang around in school. We ate lunch together sometimes. We fooled arounf

We’re not really close at first but I’d known him for almost 4 years. I met him when I enrolled in our school. We’re both part-scholar. After 2 years, we became classmates but he couldn’t remember me. Ouch! One reason was I was fat now and I was skinny way back in 2007. Still, we’re not close at that time. Junior years and we became classmates again. And now that we’re seniors, we’re still classmates.

Time went by, we eventually became friends. And now, he’s one of my closest friends in our class. As I’ve said, we always teased each other to the point that sometimes I would tell him that I had a crush on him. Though that’s not true. He’s always telling me that if I became thin again, he would ask me to be his girlfriend. I believed that that statement’s also a joke.

So our class had our duty in Lipa, Batangas for two weeks. His group and my group lived in one dormitory. Every morning, I went to their room to have chat with him and my other friends. But things had changed this time. When I told him again that I liked him, I knew in my heart that’s not a joke. I knew I mean those words. And when he told me he liked me too I wished that what he said was true and not a joke. I couldn’t look straight into his eyes. I was afraid he would know that my feelings for him was starting to develop into something deeper. On our last day in Batangas, we played cards ’til the wee hours of the morning. I slept on their room. I was shocked when he told me he was going to sleep beside me. I thought he didn’t mean it because there were still three spare beds. But I was wrong. He really slept beside me. We slept in the same bed. I couldn’t face him. I didn’t know what to do.

I don’t know if our feelings our mutual. I don’t know if I’m falling for him. I don’t know if his jokes are half meant. But one thing is for sure, I know this isn’t right.

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