Archive | October, 2011

Boracay, Here We Come!

23 Oct

The long wait is finally over. I mean, almost over. We’ve been planning this for months and now, we’ll go to Boracay this coming Tuesday.

I backed-out already because of my financial problems but my bestfriend insisted that I should go because I already paid the ticket. I still said NO but she said, it’s going to be her treat since she just finished her bachelor’s degree. Congratulations to her. I said YES but of course, I would pay half of my expnses. It’s pretty thick-skinned of me if she’s going to pay for all of my expenses. well, God is good also because finally, someone already bought my phone.

Now, I’m staying at my bestfriend’s place. We’re so excited because this’s going to be our first out of town trip together. I’m really excited and nervous at the same time. Why? ‘Cause it’s my first time to ride a plane. Shame on me. 😐

I think, this is the right time to unwind and forget all my problems, even for just a short period of time.

I’ll promise to post pictures. 🙂

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Sunset

22 Oct

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Yesterday, my cousin and I went to the beach to play volleyball and see the sunset. Here are some of my shots. 🙂

No Pretentions

22 Oct

I’ve been staring for 5 minutes on my phone (I’m using WordPress for Android phones). I really don’t know what to write/type. To those who already read my previous post (Am I a Bad Person?), you might think I’m the worst person in the world. And honestly, I want to delete that post. But I want you to know who I am. I started this blog to have a personal diary. I don’t want to pretend someone I’m not. I’m not a good girl. Everybody makes mistakes. I want people here to know the real me.

I know that I’m not the only one here in WordPress who has the same problem as mine. Please do me a favor, write down your problems. Write down you feelings. There are maybe a lot of people who’ll judge you. But there are also, maybe a few, who will understand. Stop pretending you’re happy. Stop pretending you have a perfect life.

Just be yourself. Just like what I did. And I do not regret it.

Am I really a Bad Person?

19 Oct

It’s past 12 midnight right now in the Philippines. I can’t sleep. Been cryin’ for an hour now I don’t know how to stop these tears from falling.

I don’t know what’s happenening to me. I’ve been a bad daughter, a bad Cristian and a bad person. I have done so.many things in my life that maybe even God cannot forgive. There are so many things you don’t know about me. Things that I haven’t told you. I do things that I regret. These past few months are thew worst. I have my mom’s ATM card and I’ve spent all the money there. That’s one of the reasons why we’re on a fight. I’ve tried looking for a job to replace all the money but I failed. Looking for a job in a third world country like the Philippines is like looking for an alive dinosaur. It’s impossible. Even if you have good credentials. And they want people with experience in working. I want to scream and tell those employers, “How can I get a working experience if you won’t hire me. Stupid.” Okay. Okay. So I stopped. I feel like I’m such a big fat loser. I’ve been depressed. Yeah really. I’ve been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder last August. Remember my blog post? The suicide thing? The problems enlisted there plus my mom’s money plus I couldn’t find a job = suicide. Yes. I committed suicide last August. That’s why I’ve been silent for more than a month. I’ve seen psyciatrist, gone to gym and taken medicines for anxiety and depression. After a month, I thought everything will be okay. But then again, my mom and I started to fight again. And now, it’s different. My whole family including my cousins, aunts and uncles are against me now. They are trying to help me but I’m pushing them away. I answer back to them. I don’t respect them anymore. Why am I like this? Why can’t I accept the fact that I’m the reason why all of these things are happening? Why do I have to feel this?

Why?

I Need Help

18 Oct

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Okay. Guys I need help. I’m planning to have my own online shop but I still don’t know what to sell. I mean, I know but I’m feeling anxious. What if they don’t like my items? What if no one buys it? Oh crap.

I really need this business for now. It’s the only way I can survive. Really. I only have 200 bucks in my pocket and I’m living in my cousin’s house. My mom and I have a huge fight and she doesn’t send money anymore. She’s not talking to me and I’m not allowed to go to our house. I still don’t have work. You know, it’s so hard to find a job here in the Philippines.

I’m selling my Apple iPod and Blackberry phone so I could have some money yo start my business.

Oh pleasr help me guys. If ever I started my online business, please do buy my items. It will be a great help.

Thank you.

Birthday Greeting

17 Oct

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Birthday greetings from my friends(Facebook). 🙂

THANK YOU GUYS.

Soon to Open

17 Oct

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Soon to Open my very own online shop. To all readers from the Philippines, please buy my items. Hahaha. 🙂