Reflect!

Hello from Bataan! So my five-day vacation is finally over. 😦 I’m gonna miss Nueva Ecija, the place wherein I found God.

Almost all of the members of our family are devoted Roman Catholic. They go to church every Sunday. They pray the rosary every 6pm. they are always present when there’s an activity in the church. I’m the complete opposite of them. I seldom go to church. i only pray when I need something. There comes a time when I almost become an atheist. Yeah, that’s true. I get angry with God. I blame Him for what’s happening with my life. I almost don’t believe that He exists. But my trip in Nueva Ecija changes everything.

Upon arriving at Munoz, I met Ate Arianne and we went straight to their church. A Christian church. She told me they had a choir practice. So I agreed to go with her. After their practice, I wasn’t expecting that they would have “sharing”. Read my previous post “My First Day in Munoz”. The second day, we went to Central Luzon State University. We had cell group and discussed about God to freshmen and sophomore college students. Of course, we had sharing of ideas and our experiences. I almost told them my secret. That night, Ate Arianne and I talked about my problems. Of course, I cried while telling her about my frustations in life, the things that I’d done wrong, and the moment when I almost ended my life, the day I committed suicide. It’s hard telling someone the only in my life that I’d always wanted to forget but at the same time it also felt good ’cause I know that someone’s willing to listen and understand without judgement. And while we’re talking I realized something, God really loves me. Why??? Because He let me live in this world. You know what, I took 18 tablets of Mefenamic Acid last August 24. I had 30 tablets more in our medicine cabinet but I wasn;t able to took those pills because the SWAT already found me. There were a lot of people outside our house. The paramedics were already there. They immediately admiitted me in the hospital. The nurse and the doctore wanted to put NGT to me but I said no. If God wasn’t good, I might be dead right now. But He is good. He made a miracle to me. He gave me a second chance. He gave me another life. If you had knowledge about medicine, you would know that overdosage of MFA could lead to gastro-intestinal bleeding, stomachache, liver toxicity and kidney toxicity. But nothing happened to me. I didn’t felt any pain. My laboratory results were all normal. As if I only took candies. You might say that the hospital staffs cured me but no! The only medicine I had at that time was D5LR and anti-biotic via IV because of UTI. And like I told you, I didn’t agreed on the NGT thing. Ate Arianne made me realized the miracle that happened to me. And I thanked her. And most of all I thanked God. And there’s more, after almost 2 months, my called me. My mom and I had a fight and we’re not talking and she’s not giving me money. Really, with God, everything is possible.

I’m not proud of what I’ve done. But what I want is YOU, to reflect and realize all the good things that God has given you. Don’t let your anger leads you to darkness. And don’t you ever dare to do what I’ve done because that’s the greatest sin in the world.

Always pray and thank Him. God bless you. 🙂

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