Tag Archives: boyfriend

When He Said No

1 Mar

No more wedding.

He said he’s not ready. He said he had to let go of me.

Devastated? Yes.

Sad? Yes.

Angry? Definitely.

I feel like I’m a piece of trash. I don’t know what to do. I love him. I gave up my family for him. I gave him everything he wanted. I thought all’s going to be well. I know I said I’m not yet ready to have a family. But I wasn’t prepared for his unexpected decision. He let me go. We’re living together already then he told me to go home because he’s not yet ready for marriage. He said he tried but he wasn’t prepared for another responsibility. He said he wanted to go to abroad first. He said if ever he came back and I still don’t belong to someone else, then that’s the time he would marry me. But as of now, we should go on our separate ways.

F*CK HIM!!!!

And I thought, dramas were seen on movies only. Gosh, my life is one piece of a long story drama series!!!!

Move On!

21 Nov

Move on.

Such an easy word to say but one of the hardest thing to do.

Why can’t I move on? It’s been a week since our break-up but still, I feel hopeless. I want to cry the whole day. I keep on blaming myself why he left me. I love him so much. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I’ve tried talking to my psychiatrist but I just couldn’t open up to him what’s really the root of my sadness and what causes the pain that I am feeling. All I could tell him is that I’m tired of feeling that I am not good looking. But the truth is, I feel ugly because the only guy that I loved just left me with another girl. I’m insecure with his new girl. I am jealous. I envy that girl because she’s the one who owns his heart now. I hate myself. Why can’t I just accept the fact that he doesn’t love me anymore.

Why can’t I move on?? Please tell me how. The pain is killing me and I just couldn’t take it anymore. 😥

Someone Just Broke My Heart

17 Nov

How would you feel if your man cheated on you? It hurts, isn’t it?

November 13, 2012.I sent a message to my boyfriend (we’ve been together for more than 8 months and I met him in the rehabilitation center). I told him that we should break up because I couldn’t feel his affection anymore. He didn’t reply so I thought he didn’t like the idea of that; us, breaking up. So I browsed his Facebook account only to find out that he’s already in a relationship with another girl. What hurts more is that they’ve been together even before I broke up with him. It felt like it’s the end of the world for me. My first boyfriend cheated on me. So that’s why he’s being cold whenever he’s with me. I couldn’t take the pain any longer that day so I called him. He told me he had to leave me because the people around us didn’t want us to be together. He also told me to move on. I was crying the whole night. He’s my first boyfriend, my first kiss and the first guy to broke my heart.

Right now, I’m still in the process of grieving. I am pretending that everything’s fine but the truth is, I am deeply wounded. All I want to do is cry and scream. I want him back. I want our relationship to be just like before.

I love him so much that i don’t think I can handle another depressive situation in my life again.

I am sick and tired of being hurt. 😦

Single Since Birth!

9 Dec

Anyone here who’s been single from the time they were born up to now? Let me guess, if not all, most of you are in a relationship right now or have been in a romantic relationship before. So most of you are not part of the No Boyfriend Since Birth Club. Okay let me tell you one thing about myself, I never have a boyfriend ever in my life. Imagine I’m already 20 and yet I’ve never been into a romantic relationship.. So that means, I’ve never been kissed by a guy. My first kiss’s a girl. No, I’m not a lesbian. I am a straight girl. And that kiss was a SMACK. Okay?
The reason why I am single because no one ever dared to court me. Maybe no one really likes me *sob*. No! I doubt that. I believe that there’s always one person who likes you. He’s just too scared to tell you. I have a lot of guy friends but when I feel like our closeness are getting into something deeper, I immediately tell him that I love someone else. Actually, that’s the truth. I’ve been in love twice but sadly, they’re both in a relationship and I think they’re happy.
I’m not whining about being single ’cause the truth I am happy with it. I can do whatever I want. I have more time with my friends. I am not obliged to tell someone “good morning sweetie” or “good night babe”. But my friends keep bugging me being single. I mean what’s wrong with that? To tell you the truth, even my mom told that I should have a boyfriend already since I’m already done with my studies.
I also have friends like me. We all choose to graduate first before getting into a romantic relationship. I am not alone with this. Once we asked each other, what qualities we like in a guy. I always say I like guys who are chinito or bald. Haha! 😀 Well, one of the reasons I don’t have a boyfriend aside from being in love with my bestfriend who has a girlfriend, is I have a checklist. Yes, a checklist of what I want in a guy.
1. Chinito
2. Bald
3. Guy who wears eyeglasses
4. Gentleman
5. With sense of humor
6. Knows how to have clean fun
7. Can sing ( I want him to serenade me)
8. Can dance
9. Taller than me
10. Smart
11. Strict but not too much
12. Loves to travel
13. Good in taking photos (I want to see the beauty of the world through him)
14. Can play at least one musical instrument
15.Knows how to cook
16. Guys with killer smile
17. Knows how to draw/paint
18. Loves art
19. With long patience
20. Mysterious
21. Admits his mistakes
22. Loves me more than I love him
23. Bookworm
24. Respects women
25. God-fearing
26. With stable job
27. Animal-lover
28. Loves adventure
29. One-woman man
30. Not afraid to tell the world that he loves me
31. Family-oriented
32. Responsible
33. Humble
34. Loves to surprise me
35. Always makes me smile
36. Makes an effort to be with me
37. A wise-spender
38. Someone who gets along with my friends and family
39. Loves what I love
40. And most of all, HE MUST BE THE GUY THAT I LOVED.

If you check 20/40, maybe YOU are the one that I’ve been waiting for my whole life. Hahaha. :))