Tag Archives: Christmas

Be A Strong Person

26 Dec

Yesterday’s Christmas and I was with my Ninang’s family. Not so happy though ’cause I didn’t know most of the people there. So let’s not just talk about how I spent my Christmas.

Today, I went to Pasay, at my Uncle’s place. My cousin/Ninong wanted me to go here so he could give his gift to me. But I still had to go to his place in Makati later to get it.

The real story about this blog was when I went to a clinic to have a check-up. (I still have the stitches from that incident). I went to a clinic near my Uncle’s place to finally removed my stitches. Of course, the doctor asked the story about my slashed-wrist incident. We talked about it, I cried, told her I couldn’t remember some things (she said I might have a selective amnesia/memory loss or post-traumatic amnesis/memory loss of what happened). Honestly, I couldn’t remember writing some of the blog post I’d written these past few days. The pictures of what happened to me was one of those things I couldn’t remember. There’s also an incident that I was in the beach, trying to drown myself. I didn’t know how I got there. So amnesia is true? Instead of just removing my stitches, she became a counselor. She told me that it’s miracle that I was still alive right now. Really, I should be dead right now but here I am, still alive. The first time I committed suicide, all my laboratory results were normal. And the second time, I took 27 tablets of Clonazepam and I slashed my wrist. I wasn’t hospitalized or even had a gastric lavage. They just stitched my wrist and that’s it. I lost more than 150 ml of blood plus with 27 tablets of Clonazepam, I should be in coma right now. It’s really a miracle. Maybe God really loves me and maybe I haven’t fulfilled my purpose in Earth. She told me that the first step to healing was to accept myself for who I am. I should also remember that there’s always someone out there who loves me. And I should love life.

She told me to be a strong person. Well, everyone said that I should be one.

But it’s hard to be one. I feel so weak or is it just in my mind? Maybe I should tell myself to be a strong person. That’s the only way to face my life challenges, right.

So Anne, you have to be strong, okay? Promise, yourself. Please, promise yourself.

PS: I have made one of the hardest decision in my life. I’ll tell you…

Soon.

Christmas Wish

15 Dec

This blog is my shortest blog ever.

I only want two things this Christmas.

Work and Mom’s forgiveness.

Christmas, Huh?

1 Dec

I’m not really a fan of Christmas. This isn’t my favorite holiday. And for me, this is the saddest part of the year. I hate Christmas!

Every year, I have to celebrate Christmas with someone else’s family. My aunt, my uncle, my cousins, my mom’s cousin. I believe that you should be with your family every Christmas. It’s the best time of the year, they say. But me, the only time that I’ve celebrated Christmas with my family, actually with my mom only, was last 2009 and that’s because my grandma that year. So it’s not that fun after all because we have lost a family member. I’ve never received Christmas gifts from my godmothers, cousins, friends, etc. Okay, I’m being exaggerated. Maybe they give me gifts way back then but as long as I could remember, no one really bothers to give presents except when we have Christmas parties. We have monitos and monitas, and some of my friends will give all of us a gift. Actually, I’m one of those people who love to give gifts.

The only thing I loved about Christmas is the lights. Yes, I love Christmas lights. I love the colors, the brightness. It gives me joy. Sometimes, I get teary-eyed when I see a place full of Christmas lights. Yes, it’s true.
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So yesterday, I went outside to buy some stuffs and saw a lot of Christmas decors. So when I got home, I immediately put Christmas decorations in our house. Just to add some fun, not because I love Christmas. The picture above this post was the finished product. I told you, I love lights!
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So now, I’m thinking of celebrating Christmas alone. I can’t stand celebrating Christmas with my cousins. I can’t stand seeing them happy with their family. It makes me jealous. So, I’m planning to have trip. I want to travel. Just me and my dog or a stranger. I rather be alone than with them.

So if you have travel plans this Christmas and you also feel that you’re alone, just feel free to comment here or email me and let’s celebrate Christmas together!