Tag Archives: money

I tried to Kill Myself again

18 Dec

Last night, I tried to kill myself again. I took almost 30 tablets of Clonazepam the slashed my wrist. My left arm is deeply wounded while my left arm I not. If you’re just going to tell me words of God or words of wisdom please DO NOT COMMNET. I don’t need this now.Last night, I tried to kill myself again. I took almost 30 tablets of Clonazepam then slashed my wrist. My left wrist is deeply wounded while my right arm I not. I want to end this life. All I want is to start a new life. I asked for money to start my life abroad but my mom said no. My Mom said no. I need help financially. I need a psychiatrist. If you’re just going to tell me words of God or words of wisdom please DON’T NEED THIS NOW.

Hopeless

17 Dec

I told you, depressions is taking over me. I hate my life. I hate them for doing this to me. I’m already for what big mistake that I did. Isn’t it enough that I don’t have money and I am just living with my cousin’s family? I got no money from my parents. I don’t have work. I only haVe 300 pesos I don’t know what to do.i I’ve tried searching for a job but I don’t qualify. I badly needed a job. My mind’s going crazy ’cause of my problems and no on is willing to help me.I don’t care if my job is about cleaning the toilets, collecting garbage, washing other’s clothes, becoming a housekeeper / nanny. I really don’t care. I just need to support myself. I want to be successful like those I’ve watched on tv. I already admitted my mistakes and I am ready to learn. I don’t want to live with my cousin anymore who’ve always telling me that she doesn’t have money to support my needs and my dog too. I’ve tried searching for jobs but I don’t qualify to be their employee. As I’ve said, I only have 300 pesos so I can’t start a business with just that kind amount of money. I asked Mom to give me money to prepare my papers going abroad. I know, I’m a nursing graduate and I’m only 20 years old to work as a domestic helper or nannny. I don’t care. But my mom, doesn’t agree with me. She’s not sending money to me. Even money to prepare my passport. How cool is that. I feel hopeless. My father has another family and for sure he’s not going to help me either. My relatives are financially unstable. I really want to go abroad to work. I can’t stand living here in the Philippines. If I just have at least 60000 in my pocket, maybe I’m already working abroad now.I don’t know where to ask help anymore. I’ve been crying the whole night. The truth, I want to kill myslef again. I’ve taken 27 tablets of Clonazepam already this morning. I don’t know why it hasn’t effected yet. I want to killed myself. No one’s willing to help me financially, emotionally and mentally. My friend’s their all gone. They’s just there when they need me. When I still have money. Even my relatives are like that. But now, they’s all gone. I’ve been good to them but now, I’m the worst person in the world for them. I also sell my two possessions before so I have somethinng to used for my everyday need. Now I only have my dog, my camera and a phone. I forget to tell you, I’m not living in our house because my mom doesn’t want to. And my dad, he doesn’t care about me. He has his own family. I’m really tired. I promised not to do the suicide thing again but what’s happening, without someone helping my financial needs or just helping me to work abroad, I’m sorry I have to do this. Before wrting this blog, I’ve already take almost 30 tablets of Clonazepam. I can’t stand straight now. I’m feeling drowsy. I wish I’ll have a comatose in one hour, two hours, three hours or more. I just need someone who can lend me money to start my new life. I just want someone who will love me like I want to be love by family. DREAMS DO NOT COME TRUE!

Good bye world. Goodbye wordpress friends. It’s nice reading you thougths. It’s nice sharing my problems with you.

I Want To Study Abroad!

5 Dec

I’ve been independently living this past few months. No work, etc. So I just travel a lot. Then suddenly, I realize that I want to work/study abroad. I love to travel plus I want to experience being a student again. I want to study as architecture or engineering or fashion design or culinary. I also want to know about the country’s culture, food, history, nature and arts. But in order for me to work or study, I need to have a sponsor plus money. I think I need to have at least half a million pesos (more or less 10,000 US dollars). And that’s my problem. Where can I get that big amount of money? Who can be my sponsor?

Maybe, it’s going to be just a dream. 😦 *sob* I really want to study abroad. Can someone help me? Just kidding. I just want to tell the world what I want.

Anyways, have a good day. 🙂

I Need Help

18 Oct

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Okay. Guys I need help. I’m planning to have my own online shop but I still don’t know what to sell. I mean, I know but I’m feeling anxious. What if they don’t like my items? What if no one buys it? Oh crap.

I really need this business for now. It’s the only way I can survive. Really. I only have 200 bucks in my pocket and I’m living in my cousin’s house. My mom and I have a huge fight and she doesn’t send money anymore. She’s not talking to me and I’m not allowed to go to our house. I still don’t have work. You know, it’s so hard to find a job here in the Philippines.

I’m selling my Apple iPod and Blackberry phone so I could have some money yo start my business.

Oh pleasr help me guys. If ever I started my online business, please do buy my items. It will be a great help.

Thank you.