Tag Archives: sad

When He Said No

1 Mar

No more wedding.

He said he’s not ready. He said he had to let go of me.

Devastated? Yes.

Sad? Yes.

Angry? Definitely.

I feel like I’m a piece of trash. I don’t know what to do. I love him. I gave up my family for him. I gave him everything he wanted. I thought all’s going to be well. I know I said I’m not yet ready to have a family. But I wasn’t prepared for his unexpected decision. He let me go. We’re living together already then he told me to go home because he’s not yet ready for marriage. He said he tried but he wasn’t prepared for another responsibility. He said he wanted to go to abroad first. He said if ever he came back and I still don’t belong to someone else, then that’s the time he would marry me. But as of now, we should go on our separate ways.

F*CK HIM!!!!

And I thought, dramas were seen on movies only. Gosh, my life is one piece of a long story drama series!!!!

Just A Dream

19 Dec

I thought none of my friends read my private blog. Then I found out lfrom a friend that this guy is worried about me because of what he read here. I’m shocked. I’m overwhelmed. I wanna cry’cause at least someone’s worried about me.

Right now, I’m at the beach. Writing my thoughts. With stiches and bruises. I’m hurting myself. Because I want them to see me. In Tagalog “nagpapapansin”. I’m so sad right now. I’m lonely. I want to go the sea and let myself flow to the deep water until I drown. I’m not happy with my life. I envy those people who have a perfect life. A perfect family. Me? My mom’s not answering our calls. My papa doesn’t care. My uncle slapped in my face and cursed that he will kill me. My lesbian cousin told that I should be killed in another place. And now my other cousin told me that she’s not accepting me in house because I told everone that she’s having affair with her daughter’s teacher. I don’t know where to go now. I only have 220 pesos on my pocket. I am homeless. I’m thinking of killing myself. I hate it, everytime I tried to commit suicide, I ended alive. Maybe God wants to punish me more. -‘m enough of this. I wish tomorrow when I woke, I have a beautiful house with lotsa money. With true friends. No ones gonna hurt. I have everything I’ve wanted. I have a perfect family.