Tag Archives: stitches

Be A Strong Person

26 Dec

Yesterday’s Christmas and I was with my Ninang’s family. Not so happy though ’cause I didn’t know most of the people there. So let’s not just talk about how I spent my Christmas.

Today, I went to Pasay, at my Uncle’s place. My cousin/Ninong wanted me to go here so he could give his gift to me. But I still had to go to his place in Makati later to get it.

The real story about this blog was when I went to a clinic to have a check-up. (I still have the stitches from that incident). I went to a clinic near my Uncle’s place to finally removed my stitches. Of course, the doctor asked the story about my slashed-wrist incident. We talked about it, I cried, told her I couldn’t remember some things (she said I might have a selective amnesia/memory loss or post-traumatic amnesis/memory loss of what happened). Honestly, I couldn’t remember writing some of the blog post I’d written these past few days. The pictures of what happened to me was one of those things I couldn’t remember. There’s also an incident that I was in the beach, trying to drown myself. I didn’t know how I got there. So amnesia is true? Instead of just removing my stitches, she became a counselor. She told me that it’s miracle that I was still alive right now. Really, I should be dead right now but here I am, still alive. The first time I committed suicide, all my laboratory results were normal. And the second time, I took 27 tablets of Clonazepam and I slashed my wrist. I wasn’t hospitalized or even had a gastric lavage. They just stitched my wrist and that’s it. I lost more than 150 ml of blood plus with 27 tablets of Clonazepam, I should be in coma right now. It’s really a miracle. Maybe God really loves me and maybe I haven’t fulfilled my purpose in Earth. She told me that the first step to healing was to accept myself for who I am. I should also remember that there’s always someone out there who loves me. And I should love life.

She told me to be a strong person. Well, everyone said that I should be one.

But it’s hard to be one. I feel so weak or is it just in my mind? Maybe I should tell myself to be a strong person. That’s the only way to face my life challenges, right.

So Anne, you have to be strong, okay? Promise, yourself. Please, promise yourself.

PS: I have made one of the hardest decision in my life. I’ll tell you…

Soon.